Deciding who gets the check can be quite a conundrum. In today's newsletter, we'll talk about some things to consider in man-woman relationships.
Back in ye olden days (when women could not earn their own money), men always paid for dinner dates. This year, an OpenTable study reveals that one in three men weren't planning on paying for dinner on Valentine's Day, with many respondents saying this tradition is somewhat "outdated". Meanwhile, other men continue to think they should pick up the full tab. According to a Match.com study, many pay "to avoid an uncomfortable conversation", but for some women, this can lead to greater awkwardness. In fact, only 12% of women think men should foot the bill, and 22% of women would never let someone pay for them on a date.
Of course, you can go dutch - a practice endorsed by roughly half of women and a quarter of men (this varies depending on which study you put your faith in). But going 50/50 might not be as fair as it sounds. Once you factor in gender earnings gaps, amount spent getting ready, and unequal food and drink consumption, the bill should actually be split 34/66, says a Credit Karma study.
So what now? Should you take out your calculator at the end of every meal and quote the Credit Karma study? Not very romantic. Besides, it is often the case that the woman earns more money.
Business Insider offers a practical roadmap: as a starting point, men should "expect to pay for the whole thing", and women should "expect to pay for their half". Then, they can politely resolve the discrepancy with the following steps:
- Man offers to pay, without making a big show of it
- Woman takes out her wallet and offers to pay half
- Man humbly insists to pay for the full meal
- If the woman insists a second time, man does not fight and allows her to split the check evenly
Whether that's the right approach is debatable. In any case, it seems that politeness is key. In his bookA Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son, feminist writer Michael Ian Black also explores the issue and ultimately suggests that whoever asks the other person out should also offer to pay - for no reason other than politeness. In that case, another approach might be to alternate. If you're lucky enough to have several dates with the same person, man and woman can take turns "inviting" each other. Over time, whoever earns more might pick up the tab more often.
You may like one of the above approaches or opt for a different way of doing things. In any case, make sure you're intentional and thoughtful about splitting purchases.
Written by: Albert Margossian
