The answer may surprise you
Published in · 3 min read · May 30, 2022
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Even if the narcissist was devaluing and planning to discard you, your discard of them comes as a surprise — sometimes a pleasant one, but most often not.
The discarded narcissist may feel many things — often several at once.
Shocked and confused
Remember the narcissist is playing a role in the reality of their creation. Your role is their leading man/lady and top flying monkey. They have used power and control to train you in your role.
You discard them and they’re stunned, thinking, “Wait, what? I don’t remember this scene in the script.”
This is not what they’d envisioned. They’re not quite sure what happened.
Hurt, then angry
Look, it’s true that the narcissist never loved you. They may have thought they did, because they don’t know what love is and process feelings in a disordered way, but to them you were always an object.
Despite that and even if they have several other sources of supply, being discarded is a huge diss, a major cause of narcissistic injury.
This triggers immense, deep-seated internal shame and fear about the truth of who they are…
