What was the last promise you made to someone?
“Yes, honey, I’ll take out the trash after dinner.”
“I promise we’ll give you a promotion in six months.”
“I’ll be there. I promise.”
If you are like most people, you make commitments to others all the time. Question is – how often do you keep your promise? It is impossible to follow through on every single one you make in life, but how many you break and how you handle it when you do is key tounderstandingyourself.
Just so we are clear, a promise, as defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is: “a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified; or a legally binding declaration that gives the person to whom it is made a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of a specified act.”
When we don’t keep a promise to someone, it communicates to that person that we don’t value him or her. We have chosen to put something else ahead of our commitment. Even when we break small promises, others learn that they cannot count on us. Tiny fissures develop in our relationships marked by broken promises.
We are not only communicating all of this to others, we are telling ourselves that we don’t value our own word. We think it is okay to let someone down, to say something we don’t mean, or to fail to follow through on something we said we would do. Not keeping a promise is the same as disrespecting yourself. Ultimately it can harm ourself-image,self-esteem, and our life.
If you are making more commitments than you can keep, ask yourself the following questions:
What is mymotivationbehind the promise?Why am I making a particular commitment? What is my intention? Am I doing this for the recipient or for myself? Sometimes we do something purely out of good intentions. Other times it is for what we will receive. We might believe that we need to say “yes” to get what we want or to ensure someone will like us. We tell people what we believe they want to hear so they’re happy. Be honest with yourself about why you are committing to something. What are you getting out of the deal? That might clue you in as to whether or not you should make the promise in the first place.
Am I being realistic?Life moves at the speed of light and we often have to pick and choose how we spend our time. Consider your schedule, and ask yourself if this is a promise you can keep. It is always better to under-commit and over-deliver than over-promise and fall short.
Is it crucial for me to make this promise?There is nothing in life that says you MUST make promises to others. We all can’t stand the boss who looks us in the eyes and commits to something she can’t or won’t deliver. Don’t be that person! If you don’t know if you can come through or not, it is fine to simply set appropriate expectations. Tell your neighbor that you would love to help plan the block party but are unsure if you can do it because of your busy schedule, and that you will let her know next week. People respect honesty even when faced with an answer that might not be exactly what they want to hear.
When I break a promise, do I handle it well?When we unexpectedly get the holiday shift at work, do we let our family know as soon as we can that we won’t be able to make it for Thanksgiving? When a significant event arises that prevents us from meeting a friend as promised, do we give that friend a heads-up early enough so that she can make other plans? Most people are reasonable when it comes to a change of plans, as long as we have an explanation and are kind about it.
Keeping these things in mind can help us manage commitments more effectively, which helps us feel positive about our track record! Keeping our promises is good for others and good for us!
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FAQs
When we don't keep a promise to someone, it communicates to that person that we don't value him or her. We have chosen to put something else ahead of our commitment. Even when we break small promises, others learn that they cannot count on us. Tiny fissures develop in our relationships marked by broken promises.
Why is keeping your promise good for you? ›
Over time, honoring your promises (no matter how small) can earn you an enviable reputation for dependability, reliability and trustworthiness. This, in turn, can help you to develop and deepen your working relationships.
Why is it important to keep one's promises? ›
Creates a sense of integrity: Fulfilling promises to yourself demonstrates that you have a strong sense of integrity and a commitment to your values. This can improve your relationships with others, as people tend to respect and trust individuals who demonstrate integrity.
Why keeping promises to yourself is important? ›
When you honor your commitments, you reaffirm our value and worthiness that you really know to be true about yourself. You gain a deeper understanding of who you are and what you're capable of achieving. Self-identity is key to personal growth and well-being, my friends!
What is the psychology behind breaking promises? ›
The partner who has been let down may experience self-esteem issues, while the person breaking promises often struggles with guilt and shame. Over time, these feelings can create a cycle of unhealthy communication and cause further emotional distance between partners.
What is the main benefit of using promises? ›
Promises offer a cleaner alternative to callbacks, helping to avoid callback hell and making asynchronous code more readable. They facilitate writing sequential and parallel asynchronous operations with ease. However, using promises may introduce slightly more complex code.
What is the moral of keeping promise? ›
One has a moral duty to keep one's promises because making a promise will lead others to believe that you will do what you promise. Breaking the promise is then tantamount to deceiving those one promised, and since one has a moral duty not to do this, one has a moral duty to keep one's promises.
What happens when promises are not kept? ›
In the context of relationships, broken promises can strain connections between individuals. Trust is a fundamental component of healthy relationships, and repeated breaches of promises may lead to a breakdown in trust.
Why does God want us to keep our promises? ›
Just as we expect others to keep their promises to us, we must also keep our promises to God as a sign of respect, faithfulness, and obedience. We may have also made promises to God when setting personal, professional, or familial goals.
What does the Bible say about keeping promises? ›
In Numbers 30:2, God says, “When a man makes a vow…he must not break his word but must do everything he said.” Sometimes we make promises in haste — to quiet a child or end an argument. But responsibility for keeping that promise doesn't go away because we didn't think it through.
When we don't keep a promise to someone, it communicates to that person that we don't value him or her. We have chosen to put something else ahead of our commitment. Even when we break small promises, others learn that they cannot count on us. Tiny fissures develop in our relationships marked by broken promises.
What happens if you break a promise? ›
When we make a promise, we are committing ourselves to a profound act. When we break that promise, we risk an abrupt breakdown in trust. This breakdown in trust can lead to failed relationships – both professional and personal – that can sometimes carry reciprocal consequences.
Why do we need a promise? ›
A Promise is a proxy for a value not necessarily known when the promise is created. It allows you to associate handlers with an asynchronous action's eventual success value or failure reason.
Why should we never break a promise? ›
If you're going to be able to trust yourself fully, you need to keep your word to other people. Otherwise, they will know that you aren't to be trusted. Even worse, how can you trust yourself if you don't keep your word?
Why do people keep making empty promises? ›
Some people make promises they can't keep because of a people-pleasing tendency, says Dr Hannam. "They want to be able to ingratiate themselves to others, they want others to like them [but] they're not being realistic about what they're actually able to do," says Dr Hannam.
Are empty promises emotional abuse? ›
They may put on a façade of making an effort, but their actions often reveal a lack of genuine commitment to change. Why it Matters: Believing in these empty promises can lead to continued emotional and psychological abuse.
Why is promise important in life? ›
Fulfilling a promise is a person's greatest quality. It is a responsible pledge for which one is accountable before God. Breaking a promise has serious consequences and risks being disgraced in the eyes of God.
What are the benefits of promise all? ›
Promise. all is used when you have multiple asynchronous operations and you want to wait for all of them to complete. It takes an array of promises and returns a single Promise that resolves when all of the promises have resolved.
Why is it important to be a promise keeper? ›
A Promise Keeper is committed to honoring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God's Word in the power of the Holy Spirit. A Promise Keeper is committed to pursuing vital relationships with a few other men, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises.
Why is it important to keep a promise or agreement? ›
Keeping promises forms trust, and continued trust leads to dependability. It's been said before, "you are only as good as your word." And it is so true. As parents, teachers, business leaders, entrepreneurs and anyone who steps into a leadership role, only those who make things happen will qualify.
